In recent news, headlines suggest an unfortunate trend in the status of being single. Some women like Yasmin Eleby have opted to marry themselves. Amanda Rodgers from Great Britain married her dog and the most unfortunate response to the fear of being single are instances like 29- year old Rachel Gow who took her own life because she hadn’t found a partner to start a family with.
In lieu of these headlines I have some good news and some really good news! Good News: Being partnered or married is amazing, special and one of the most important relationships you may experience in your lifetime. Really Good News: Being single is amazing, special and one of the most important relationships you will experience through your life.
The truth is, being single or partnered are equally important. They both have special intrinsic value in our lives. For the sake of our emotional health it’s important to dismantle the social construct of “relationship shaming”. After all relationships are not absolutes. They are not permanent fixtures in our lives. Contrary to popular belief- relationships won’t prove you are worthwhile. It is left up to you to believe and know your self-value whether you are single or partnered.
While or when you are single recognize that love is not some mechanical occupation you apply for with the “perfect resume”. Love has no allegiance to time, beauty, age, or money. For millenniums girls have grown up under the fantasy of the big day with the perfect man, they mention nothing of the $18.00 marriage certificate in comparison to the tens of thousands of dollars we spend on the wedding.
It is just as ironic as it is comical that a total of 3 wedding magazines cost more than a marriage certificate. So lets agree to put the focus and value back into ourselves.
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Dissecting the notions of relationships statuses is like taking off the make-up, fancy clothes, hair tresses, or titles. It’s not who you are but everything they told you- you “should be”. So the next time someone asks you about your relationships status try one of my top five replies:
• I’m not single I’m on reserve, reserve for the one who deserves my heart.
• Single? I’m not single I’m in a long distance relationship, my partner lives in the future
• Wanted by many, taken by none, talking to some, just waiting on one
• Where’s your man? He’s stuck in a tree somewhere!
• I am not single I am independently owned and operated
• Yes, I’m single and you’ll have to be pretty amazing to change that